Mom & Dad to every child..

Parents are the one who makes what we are… !! But Do we really appreciate them… A question we must as to our self…..

I am sorry to knocking the subject people like to talk about. But there are some untold stories which we as a child need to hear it. How many of us are treating our aged patents with love and affection. I am sure most of us do. Hence there are many unsaid compromises our parents do for us and we might not able to notice in our day to day life…

 

 

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How Parents Discourage Their Children. Every parents should read this…

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3-year old David was playing with his blocks all by himself because his mom was too busy and he had no playmates around. After an hour, he began scattering his blocks all over the room. His mother walked in and tripped.

”How many times do I have to tell you to play in one place? I don’t know what to do with you,” she yelled, as David quietly listened.

Very often, parents tend not to notice when children behave well. When they do something wrong though, parents react immediately. What many do not understand is one of the main reasons for a child’s misbehavior is to get parental attention. Children crave their parents’ attention, be it positive or negative.

Send out positive messages

 

Children need to hear positive messages from their caretakers in order to promote healthy self-esteem and confidence in themselves. Of course, no parent knowingly intends to lower a child’s self esteem, but even the most well-intended criticism is still criticism. Parents may correct behaviour in the hope of wanting their child to perform better or behave in an appropriate manner. Instead, they discourage the child further, without realizing it.

Critisim sends the following message to your child: You are not good enough and, in my eyes, you never will be.

Every situation gives us an equal opportunity to encourage or discourage our children. The first step is to realize when we are discouraging them, so we can avoid doing so. You discourage your child when you focus on what he or she has done wrong, criticise, humiliate, nag, be sarcastic, yell or punish the child. You encourage your child when you notice good behaviour and acknowledge it with words of encouragement. So, start focusing on strengths. You discourage your child when you over protect him and do things he is capable of doing on his own. You encourage your child when you allow him to do things on his own and help him become independent. You discourage your child when you expect him to be perfect and accept nothing short of it. The child has to please you completely. You encourage your child when you allow him to progress at his own pace, keeping in mind his age and focusing on his efforts.  You discourage your child when you have negative expectations every time he wants to attempt something. You encourage your child when you believe in his capabilities and appreciate his enthusiasm to try new things.

 

The difference between praise and encouragement

The dictionary defines praise as ‘the act of expressing approval or admiration.’
Encouragement is defined as ‘to inspire with hope, courage and confidence.’ The latter stimulates internal growth, helps children value themselves and increases their belief in their abilities. They realise that, although they may not be perfect yet, their efforts have been noticed.

Stop using words like ‘good’, ‘very good’, ‘wow’, ‘wonderful’ that sound nice but do nothing to motivate your child to do better. Instead, use a response like ‘I really like the red colour you have used for the roof’ or ‘Your toys are all put away nicely’ or ‘You have worn your shoes all by yourself today.’

These responses say to your child — ‘You are important to me. I notice what you do. I have time for you.’ Besides motivating the child to do better, they also help improve his or her self-esteem.

 

Be sincere

 

Honesty is important. So, look for things you truly like and appreciate. For example, let’s say your child has been painting for an hour but has made a real mess of it. If, in such a situation, you were to say you liked the painting when you really didn’t, your child would be able to see through you and gradually lose trust in your words. Instead, look for something you genuinely liked about the situation and say that. For example, if you liked the fact that the child has sat in one place for an hour without troubling you and made an effort to attempt painting, express that.Don’t bribe your child with encouragement Some parents use encouragement to manipulate their children. Encouragement must be genuine and given to boost self-esteem, not to get something out of your child. Don’t expect that just because you have encouraged your child, he or she should now cooperate with you. Both are separate issues; don’t mix them.

Always keep in mind, the key is to look for strengths and focus more on good behaviour, so you get more of that.

True Love is an Acceptance (Must Read Story)

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It was a busy morning, approximately 08:30 am, when an elderly gentleman in his 80′s arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking repeatedly at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On examination, it was well-healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his stitches and redressed his wound. While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation. I asked him if he had an important appointment that morning, as he seemed to be in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no; that he only needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while already and that she was a victim of Alzheimer Disease.

As we talked, and I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be worried if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was; that she had not recognized him for five years now. I was surprised, and asked him. “And you still go every morning, even though she doesn’t know who you are?”

He smiled as he patted my hand and said: “She doesn’t know me, but I still know who she is.”

I had to hold back my tears as he left. I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought: “That is the kind of love I want in my life.”

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be

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Love is to love someone for who they are, who they were, and who they will be.

Pencil & Eraser (Very Interesting Conversation)

Pencil: I’m sorry….

Eraser: For what? You didn’t do anything wrong.

Pencil: I’m sorry because you get hurt bcos of me. Whenever I made a mistake, you’re always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.

Eraser: That’s true. But I don’t really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I’ll be gone and you’ll replace me with a new one, I’m actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad. :)

I found this conversation between the pencil and the eraser very inspirational. Parents are like the eraser whereas their children are the pencil. They’re always there for their children, cleaning up their mistakes. Sometimes along the way… they get hurt, and become smaller (older, and eventually pass on). Though their children will eventually find someone new (spouse), but parents are still happy with what they do for their children, and will always hate seeing their precious ones worrying, or sad.

This is for all parents …

Thought of The Day : Happiness

Happiness

It is the art of living, the purpose of our existence. Happiness is the true index of quality of life. Without happiness, life is dry and meaningless. With happiness, life immediately becomes fulfilling and wonderful. Happiness is an infectious feeling that immediately lifts the sagging spirits of people. Happy people keep themselves happy because they know the little ways to appreciate themselves and to see the humor and magic in each moment.

Why Happiness is Your Secret to Productivity (Must Read for Businessmen)

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How are happiness and productivity related? If you want to improve productivity, look no further than your mindset. Marcus Aurelius reminds us: “Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”

People who enjoy what they do are far more productive than those who do not have passion for their work. Have you ever been so engrossed in what you are doing that when you look up, you discover hours have passed in what seems like minutes? Such joyful immersion is key to productivity. Denis Waitley reminds us, “Happy people plan actions, they don’t plan results.”

A common trait shared by successful people is an awareness of the “thought-trails” in their lives. Much like a physical trail cut through a meadow after years of use, thought-trails can actually force you to continue thinking the way you’ve always thought.

How you think is often more important than that you think, or even what you think. The characteristic separating the good from the great, the highly successful from the folks who are just getting along, is their ability to think about themselves as successful even while on the journey to greatness — however “greatness” is defined for you.

An important skill is to think without acting: To plan. What do you want to be known for? What do you want to do? What is possible? Change begins with what you tell yourself and others. Change your outlook and you change what is possible.

Listen to what you are saying. Are you speaking in positives? “We’ve come through worse than this before so I know we’ll be fine in the end.” Or negatives? “Sure the sun is shining now, but the forecast calls for more rain by the weekend.”

Here is a 15 minute exercise to determine how you are thinking now so you know what is working, and what might need updating. Respond honestly to the following prompts:

● Life is…
● Money is…
● Coaches are people who…
● Goals are…
● Work is…
● Organized people are…

How you respond gives you a window into how you see the world. Below are responses I’ve received from others who have done this exercise:

● Life is good / Life is hard
● Money is what I use to create opportunity. /Money is the root of all evil.
● Coaches are for people who are moving. / Coaches are for people who have money.
● Goals are necessary to achieve more. / Goals are nice, but I am always busy enough.
● Work is what I do to express myself. / Work is never over.
● Organized people are productive. /Organized people are anal-retentive.

Do you have a perspective on a certain aspect of your life that might be worth changing? Improvement doesn’t mean something is wrong to begin with. It indicates a move toward something new and possibly better.

I love what Benjamin Disraeli said: “Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.

Ways to help your child study better

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Does your child throw a tantrum every time you ask him or her to do homework? Teaching children to follow a daily study routine from a young age helps them cope better when their study load increases. Here are some tips to help your child with homework.

Set an area for your child’s study:
Designate a proper space big enough to fit your child’s chair, books, etc. This will help your child focus and give due importance to his homework. Letting your child study while sprawled on the bed is not a good idea.

Switch off all the distractions: 
Switch off the television, radio and computer when your child is studying. Confiscate mobile phones and any other distractions. Playing soft music in the background helps.

Allot study time: 
Based on the time your child gets back from school, set a fixed time for him or her to sit down to complete his homework and studies. Keep extra-curricular activities in mind while doing so.

Keep your child’s study area organised:
Make sure your child’s study area is organised. This will help your kid focus and also prevent wastage of valuable time every day in search of books.

Encourage children to finish assignments on their own: 
While you may feel tempted to correct your child’s homework, it is harmful. Your child may feel that his own homework is not good enough, leaving him discouraged. However, be around when your child is studying incase of any doubts.

Allow small breaks: 
Allowing short food and water breaks will help your child recharge his mind but encourage your child to finish off studies quickly.

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