6 Things you should keep it to yourself.

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Love is all about sharing and caring. But I am not sure the former should be in its entirety. At times, telling too much about yourself to your boyfriend may land you in trouble.

Better safe than sorry. So it’s best to hide some things in the interest of your relationship. Here you go…

Don’t make him feel insecure: You may want to impress him by saying it was you who ditched your Ex. Or about how good your best friend is in two-timing. Mind you, he may not take it too kindly. For one, he would think this is his future too!

Your best friend’s personal life: First things first — do not share your best friend’s phone number, email address with your boyfriend. Also, if your BFF has shared all her secrets with you, best keep it hidden from your boyfriend. For one, he may not be interested. Two, he may start showing her sympathy fuelling jealousy. Who knows it might be a point of conflict between the two of you. You might also start feeling insecure.

Your passwords: Never do this even if you are married. Both of you are entitled to some space in the relationship. Sharing email passwords and ATM pins is a strict no-no. You might want to bring in the transparency issue here. Yet, it’s strictly not advisable. Imagine your boyfriend reading up your online chat conversations to beat boredom and discovers you had actually ditched him to be at a party with your BFF! It would be disastrous.

Do not discuss your salary details: Unless you are married and are looking at joint investments for the family, it’s best not to boast about your fat paycheck. It’s okay to tell him you get a decent remuneration. But not the exact details. But same applies to you too. Your boyfriend too is under no obligation to disclose his salary details.

Girls love to tell guys about their periods: Yuck! You may think sharing your female bodily changes with him may bring you two closer. However, that’s really not the case. Some guys may be shy themselves and may find it awkward to accept what you are talking about in this stage of the relationship itself.

Let bygones be bygones: Your experience with your Ex was bitter to say the least. Your present boyfriend is all that he wasn’t. And all you want do is go gaga over how he scores over your ex. But hold on! Control your emotions, let go off your past and live in the present. It’s wise not to share any details of your past relationship with your present one. You may regret it later.

When in love, it’s natural to get carried away and tell him all about yourself. However, besides other reasons, one good reason for you to not share some things with him is to let him accept you the way you are. Also, let there be some part of you which he doesn’t know, right?

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9 insensitive things that you should avoid saying to your child.

 

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We list 9 insensitive things that you should avoid saying to your child.

 

1. I was much more responsible when I was your age
Comparing your child and giving him an example of what all you were capable of when you were a kid is the first big mistake parents make. Their irritation stems from ‘expectations’ – expectations of bringing up the ‘perfect’ kid. Try and recall your shortcomings as a child and what all troubles you bothered your parents with. You are the elder one in the relationship hence you ought to know more. A statement such as this will break your child’s confidence.

 

2. You always end up taking wrong decisions
Don’t penalise your kid for being immature. Everyone is allowed to make mistakes and it is in fact a part of the learning process. He might have taken up a field of study that doesn’t interest you or perhaps working with a company that you’re not very proud of, but that doesn’t mean you accuse him of the decisions. Your job as a parent is to guide him, not force him to obey your opinions.

 

3. Why can’t you be more like your brother/sister?
This is once again an unreasonable comparison and a common one at that. Avoid seeding in animosity between your children by comparing their abilities. Doing so may create a fissure between the siblings. You don’t want your kid to harbour negative feelings for you, hence avoid assessing your kids.

 

4. Leave me alone!
Adults have huge responsibilities to take care of, responsibilities that children are innocently oblivious of. And there are times when we want to be left alone too. Kids are incapable of understanding the gravity of such situations. An impatient outburst of ‘Leave me alone!’ can make your child feel neglected, unwanted and depressed at the same time. Show some patience and avoid saying something bad to him.

 

5. You should be ashamed of yourself
This statement is outright harsh and saying such an awful thing to any child is simply ‘bad’. Yes, there are mischievous kids who go about pestering people with a devil-may-care attitude but that does not mean you reprimand him like this. There are better and milder ways to make the child understand the difference between good and bad.

 

6. You’re just like your father/mother
Not all married couples are happy living together and the bitterness in their relationship often translates into exchange of unkind words against each other. Some relationships end in separation too. Either ways, kids are a witness to this mutual hostility and criticism. So when you shower your partner’s animosity on your kid, that’s when he begins to lose respect.

 

7. You always find ways to hurt me
There are times when children hurt their parents’ sentiments by going against their wishes. Most times it is unintentional but there are kids who do so on purpose. However, saying something like the above statement would make your child feel guilty about his/her decision. He might comply with your demands to make you happy but you’d be taking away his right to happiness in the long run. Let your children take their own decisions and let them live a guilt-free life.

 

8. It’s better to be childless than have a kid like you
The above statement is mostly an extreme emotional outburst but can have grave consequences on the kid. Unquestionably, it is the most hurtful thing you can ever say to your child. No matter what the crisis is, saying something like this could make you regret for life.

 

9. Get rid of the bad company of your friends
We (read adults) don’t think before making friends. Neither do children. The only difference is that we know how to stay away from bad company and children don’t. Their friends mean the world to them and therefore you cannot just order them to get a new set of ‘good’ friends.

The Positive Power of Saying ‘No’

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Why is saying no so hard ? In my personal and professional relationships, I have a difficult time turning people down, even when there are good reasons I should. I’m not completely sure why so many of us feel this way, but I think it has something to do with our culture. We respect busyness. We’re in awe of people who seem like they do it all. We want to please.

But over the years, turning opportunities down that aren’t a good fit for me has been far more beneficial than I could have possibly imagined. It takes courage to be true to yourself — to admit when you’re not willing, uninterested, or simply want better.

“No, this job isn’t right for me.”

“No, I don’t want to live here — I want to live somewhere prettier.”

“No, I want a bigger salary.”

“No, this relationship isn’t healthy.”

What if you hurt someone’s feelings ? What if this business opportunity never comes along again? Who are you to think you deserve more? But the truth is, when we stretch ourselves thin, we’re not helping anyone. I’ve discovered that when we’re willing to say no, we create an opportunity for a frank, open discussion of what we do want. And the only way to get what you want is to let it be known.

When I’ve walked away from a business deal, nine out of 10 times the company has come back to me with a better offer. That’s right — 90 percent of the time. At first, I was shocked to discover this. I had more power than I realized! In the movie,American Hustle, there’s a scene where Christian Bale’s character says, “If you tell them ‘no,’ they will keep coming back for more.” He’s right.

When you turn someone you down, explain why. If you’re dealing with a personal relationship, consider writing down your thoughts first. Be concise and to the point. Don’t make excuses and don’t be afraid to slow things down if you think they’re moving too fast. You will be surprised to discover there’s usually a second offer waiting for you. But some situations just aren’t meant to be. If you gut tells you to walk away, do it. Rarely has a situation I felt unsure about gotten better, unfortunately.

In telling the truth, you set the stage for a more meaningful, fruitful relationship. The people you work with will respect your courage and honesty. It will give you strength and confidence.

It’s easier to say no when you have other options. Hold out for positive relationships that will help grow your business in the right direction. Looking back, most of the business relationships I said yes to when I should have said no turned out poorly anyway.

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